As a coach, I’ve heard all the excuses in the book. Everyone experiences fear, failures and setbacks; it’s a part of life. I, too, have had moments in my life where I’ve just wanted to throw in the towel and give up, or stay in my comfort zone. I’ve learned, from my own experiences and those of my clients, that making excuses for inaction, failures or setbacks always lead to regret. Regret sucks!
Excuses prohibit you from moving forward, taking risks, and achieving your goals.
What causes you to make excuses?
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Uncertainty
When you’re taking action to meet new goals, you’re likely to find yourself outside of your comfort zone. You’re treading in unchartered territory, and there are understandably feelings of uncertainty that come with that. Therefore, excuses become your defense mechanism. They serve as reasons you give yourself to remain in your comfort zone, to stay safe.
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Fear
Stemming from venturing out of your comfort zone comes those nagging feelings of fear. The uncertainty that you feel elicits fear that you aren’t smart or strong enough, or that something just isn’t mean to be. Fear tells you that you could be rejected, criticized and would never be able to recover from that. Fear tells you that you just don’t have what it takes and that you’re destined to fail.
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Overwhelm
Whether due to confusion on how to move forward or feeling as if too many things need your attention at once, feeling overwhelmed will lead to excuses. Take me for example. I have a new program that I haven’t launched as I can’t seem to figure out the technology. Bogging myself down learning the tech part is my reason for the delay. It feels like a legitimate reason yet, in the end, it’s just an excuse. Someone out there could figure that out in a day, right? I haven’t enjoyed the success of helping more people as I’m stuck behind my excuse.
Regardless of the reason for making excuses, they will most certainly lead to regret. Think of the last time you chose not to take that step because it felt risky. Did you think, “Whew! That was a close call.” Or, do you revisit it over and over again wondering, “What if?”
What if? = Regret.
Therefore, it’s imperative to move past the excuses to ultimately reach your goals both personally and professionally.
How to ditch the excuses to achieve the success and happiness you deserve:
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Make a Commitment
Think about what it is that you really want to accomplish. Make a commitment to do whatever is necessary to get those results. Committing means you take the actions even when it’s scary or you just don’t feel like it. Do it anyway!
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Create a Plan
What actions must you take to achieve your goal? Don’t be afraid to be all in! If you don’t give it all you’ve got, you’re likely to experience regret down the road. When creating your plan, anticipate feelings of fear and uncertainty.
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Focus on Solutions
Dwelling on the problem permits you to make excuses. Alternatively, when you focus on finding a solution, you don’t have the opportunity to make excuses. Instead, you’re moving forward to move past the setback and staying on track to meet your goal.
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Silence Your Inner Critic
Know that your inner critic will show up. It’s there to protect you, and that can be a good thing. However, it’s OK and even necessary at times to remind your critic that you are alright and do not need protection. Thank it for its concern, then remind yourself that you are smart, capable and should failure occur, it doesn’t define you. It teaches you. It’s part of the process. So, keep looking and moving forward. You’ve got this!
Additionally, sharing your goals with others—including the fears, anxiety, and uncertainties you feel—will help you avoid the excuse rut. Talking things through with a supportive perspective can give you courage and boost your determination in those shaky times.
If you’re prone to making excuses that are holding you back, let’s talk! Email me at lauren@coachwithlauren.com, and together we can get you out of this rut and on the road to the success and happiness you desire.